Looks like everything is going to get pushed back... again. I'm training very hard (the last 3 days aside) for these figure competitions, so baby is on the back burner. I think that Tony's happier about that than he's letting on. Not because he doesn't want a baby right now (at least I hope that's not the case) but because it's going to give us a little more wiggle room financially.
Did I mention I hate money?
I'm in a dark place right now anyway with my body, so we're going to see how that goes. You would think that trying to get into the best shape of your life would be empowering and inspiring... but it's just hard really. And just as mentally draining as it is physically. I'm not going to lie, some days I wish I were pregnant just so I didn't have to think about eating. If I were pregnant, and I were hungry, I would eat. If I craved something, I would eat it... and knowing that I am not going on a diet on Monday, I wouldn't feel like I needed to eat it all at once. I sincerely miss that freedom, especially now that I know not only every single thing that goes into my body, but its macronutrient breakdown too. Do any of you know what a macronutrient is? Yeah, didn't think so.
Anyway, that's my fussing for the day. I hope I can find some patience or something because I just don't want to get sad again.
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