Marathon...

I was wrong, the Cleveland Marathon is in May, and I plan to move forward with training. Unless Tony has a change of heart, or this year's tax return is crazy huge, it looks like baby making is going to be on hold... stupid economy. But we have to do what we have to do. I guess it's bittersweet that we can't have an "oops" baby. As much as I would love to find out that we accidentally got pregnant, it's comforting to know that if the money situation doesn't get resolved that we're not going to end up with another mouth to feed that we can't afford. I can't imagine letting our other kiddos go without when things are tight enough as it is. We get by just fine right now, we who knows about next year, or heck, next week?! So, it's good that we're 'being grown ups' and using the money that we've got to pay off some bills so that we can be minimalists after we lose our annuity in October.

So, I'm jumping in and training for this marathon (that is now less than 23 weeks away) to keep my mind off of the sadness that is encroaching on me over knowing that it's going to be a little while until we add our new precious bundle of baby to the family. I'm already getting a little heartsick at the sight of babies, and pregnant women, and that sort of thing... but I'm sure once training for this race really picks up that I will be too busy to lament too long. At least that's the hope.

Some day little Angel baby. We will meet you some day. When we can offer you the very best that we can. When we can give you all that we've been able to give your sister and brothers. And when we are able to be the very best parents that we can be to you. In the meantime, know that Mommy is aching as I wait for your arrival. I love you little one, even though you remain a twinkle in my eye.