As hard as you may be trying, I am undeterred from having another baby. Though it may be midnight and you're sitting at my feet ripping a piece of paper instead of sleeping soundly in your crib, I'm not scared. You forget, I've done this before. I'm no novice here, I know what I'm doing. And yes, I know what I'm getting myself into in my pursuit of a fifth child. So, this sleep deprivation form of torture you've chosen to inflict will not break me. I'm tough. I'm a mother. Your mother as a matter of fact. And for the record, I'm not thinking of my pillow and quilt right now. I only have eyes for you. I'm watching you take in every little thing between eye rubs and yawns. I love your curiosity. I love everything about you, from the top of your little blond head, to the bottom of your chubby little feet. So stay awake little angel. I will be right here to kiss your cheeks, and rub your head until you're ready to turn in for the night. Then, when we both eventually drift off to sleep, I will dream of the day when a baby will be lucky enough to call you their big brother. In the meantime, you are the baby. My wonderful little baby love. And even at midnight, or 2 am, or 4 am... I consider myself blessed that you are mine, and we have that time together. But that may be the sleep deprivation talking :)
Love,
Your Very Lucky Mom
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