No News...

Still waiting to hear about a few things that haven't come through yet, and that's frustrating, but on the whole things are getting better.

Last week I neglected this blog like crazy because it was the week from HELL! I had a house full of sick people, nothing got done, and on top of it all we had a trip to Indianapolis to prepare for. But we all survived, a little worse from wear, but survived none the less. I was sick, tired, and aggravated most of the week. And the only thing that will take me from zero to psycho in a hurry is a dirty house, and seeing as though everyone was sick, energy to clean eluded us all. So by the time we left on Friday, I was sick, tired, and leaving a devastated house behind. It wasn't pretty.

Tomorrow, Aaron's developmental aide comes which is good and bad. Good because it will be nice to see her, and have our time to work with Aaron, but bad because it means I have to get all of the housework done TODAY, and Tony forgot to take out the garbage today, so I'm going to have to add to the growing pile of bags in the garage. :::sigh:::

On the baby front, I don't know what to think anymore. I want another baby, Tony said that he did too, but something always felt like it was lacking for him... like maybe he didn't really want another baby. I would bother him all the time to tell me what he was feeling, because it seemed like deep down, maybe it wasn't something that he wanted. I keep dreaming of having another shot at having a baby girl, but I don't know that we're on the same page anymore. I think that the past week really tested us, and we failed. I feel like I'm always grasping at straws to find something to make me happy, and I'm just not. So, what to do? Being depressed has a way of getting old really fast.

I make plans to work on myself, or my body, or get a hobby, or something, but it's not filling the void. I hope I find something that does soon, because like I said... it's getting old.