In October of 2008, Tony and I decided that we were going to try and have our fourth baby.
After being blessed with three amazing babies, we figured we were done, and Tony underwent a vasectomy. We figured three was the magic number, and we would never want any more kids. We were wrong. After a few years my biological clock stopped ticking, and started blaring that fuzzy God awful rock music that comes on when you set the alarm to the music setting, but it's between stations... you know what I mean. That horrible sound that sends you screeching toward the ceiling at 5am like a cat out of an old cartoon, that sound. I ignored it as long as I could, but once it started being accompanied by the hollow whistle of my empty uterus, I knew it was time to broach the subject of baby number four. I admit, it wasn't the easiest thing to bring up, after all, the vasectomy was sort of my idea. Tony hates surgery, for any reason. He's been operated on so many times that he's understandably put off by the thought of any type of surgery for any reason. I think he would actually think of turning down a heart transplant if it weren't for the fact that I would divorce him. I've told him plenty of times that I will sooner be a divorcee than a widow. But I digress...
In summer 2008 I begged and pleaded for one baby, just one more baby, and I would never bother him again, scout's honor. He told me no, and no, and then no again. For months I tried to coerce him, but he, under NO circumstances was going under the knife again, particularly where is manly bits were concerned. So, I gave up. Yes me, Mrs. Determination, folded like a lawn chair and gave up (even though I knew we had samples stored in case such baby fever should arise in the future). I couldn't believe it. Neither did he. It was about a week later while I was cooking dinner he came up to me and asked me the now infamous question, "why did you stop bothering me about having a baby?" What ho? Okay men, I'm sure you see the flaw in that question, right? Your nagging wife stops bothering you for a few days, and then you ask an open ended question? Folly.
Apparently a friend of Tony's at work had announced that he and his wife were expecting earlier that day, and all of the sudden the sound of crackling def metal was going off inside of his head. So, we made a decision that day to hit the snooze on our biological alarm, and have another child. But that brought on a host of new issues. Namely, the vasectomy. To reverse or not to reverse, that was the question. Tony was definitely not in any hurry to have another surgery, and besides, if he was fertile again, we may have accidental pregnancies in the future... and what if the reversal failed? We would have to see a fertility specialist anyway, and the costs would just go from there. IVF? ICSI? If there was a low count, even IUI would be out of the question. What were we going to do?
After some soul searching, and some researching, we decided to move ahead with IUI w/our frozen sperm. I for one didn't want him to have to go through the reversal, especially with the possibility of failure. The pain and recovery would be all for not. I didn't want him to have to go through all of it again. And a reversal requires general anesthesia, of which he is not a fan. So we acquired our samples, went to the RE and started tracking my cycles, and wouldn't you know it? I was diagnosed with secondary infertility. Freaking bummer. So I did a few cycles of Clomid before I started ovulating, but the first cycle that I did... BOOM, pregnant! We were very blessed.
September 2009 brought our fourth child, our third baby boy, AJ. He's a little squishy ball of adorable sunshine. He is the absolute light of our lives. They all are. And that leads us to present day. We have another sample, and another chance to add to our family. So, we're going to try for #5. Tony has offered again to have the reversal, but I have the same reservations. So, in February (tax returns help a lot where infertility is concerned) we're going back to the RE with our remaining samples and we hope that he can help us have our next baby. Otherwise, we may have to go the reversal route just so we can't be turned down. Who knows? I don't know if reproductive endocrinologists are like bartenders, and can cut you off any time they think you've had enough.
The only thing I do know is that I was put on this Earth to be a mother. It's about the only thing I'm good at. And you know what they say right? Find what you're good at, and stick to it. I just happen to be exceptional at getting knocked up.
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